Sabinal Blue

Visiting The Thoughts Of Yet One More Person

Meanderings of an introverted dancer - a public school teacher with thoughts on music, politics, and life in the hills.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

School Lunch Fees

Just got a note that school lunch fees will be going up next year. The good news is hardly anyone will have to pay for the increase, because most children in rural areas and inner city schools qualify for free lunch.

What saddens me as an educator is that my children qualify for free school lunch. The amount school teachers are paid falls below the federal poverty level, thus my children qualify for the free lunch program. That's a sad statement about our society and where it's priorities lie. Of course, I guess in an abstract manner that could be considered a "perk". Work for us and your children will get a free lunch!

Monday, May 30, 2005

Defining "terrorists"

The San Antonio newspaper today had a headline decrying the terrorists in Iraq that are shooting at the US military. How lopsided propoganda always is.

I do believe there are terrorists in this world. The Saudi Arabians who flew airplanes into buildings on September 11 were, no question in my mind, terrorists. They attacked a foreign country with the aim of spreading terror among the population.

In many ways it worked, with the propoganda machine set up by the Bush administration. Very few people I speak with remember that the terrorists who used airplanes as bombs - a mechanism that our government was well aware of several years before (see Oliver North circa 1998) - were, in truth, Saudi Arabian. Saudi Arabia is our "ally", so we sure as heck couldn't attack them. So, utilizing a well-oiled propoganda machine, Americans were led to believe, almost en-masse, that it was Afghanistan attacking the US.

When that ploy was shown not to work too well, Saddam Hussein, who had been previously demonized, became an easy target . Now, people I talk with, from a highly educated school principal, to a doctor, to an unemployed school crossing guard, believe that Iraq was the country that attcked the US on September 11. Even when Bush was forced to admit he had no evidence, his tongue was so deep in his cheek that watchers believed he was trying to tell us he knew something we didn't. All part of the propoganda game.

The point is, there were terrorists, and as long as there is oppression in the world, there will be terrorists. But we should not use that word as lightly as it's being used today in The San Antonio newspaper. The people of Iraq who are fighting the incursion of American troops into their country can by no means be defined as terrorists. If one were to apply the term that loosely, then the only terrorists in Iraq today would be the American troops. We need to be careful not to water-down terms that have specific meanings or it will come back to slap us in the future.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Saudi king to undergo more tests. . .

Saw this headline & had this flash that the Saudi King must have enrolled himself in an American Public School because he couldn't wait to see the reality of the no child left behind act.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Dancing In The Dark

Still so angry about something that happened at work last week to think clearly enough to write. Will sit down and type out those feelings soon so I can move on into summer with a clear head.

Woke up this morning to get even angrier. With Mr Bush constantly saying out loud that things are "better off in Iraq" without Hussein I wake up every morning with just the opposite truth being printed and broadcast. There's been many many cases of Americans murdering the patriots in Iraq, and the movement to murder any man, woman, or child who dares to carry a weapon has been obvious to all observers since the beginning of these atrocities. However, never has is been as blatant as this mornings headline, which have me in an uproar again:

Iraq to launch huge Baghdad raids

More than 40,000 Iraqi soldiers are to be deployed in Baghdad in a massive operation to hunt down insurgents, the Iraqi defence minister has announced.

Using the word "insurgent" is the propaganda tool our government has used, but in Iraqui history - when this mess is over - those that are defending their culture against the attackers will be known as patriots, just as George Washington is called a patriot today in our history. We never remeber our own history, and the fact that to the British, George Washington and his troops were called "insurgents". It saddens me the way the press is siding so easily with the attackers of a defenseless nation.

Gotta get off to work - had to get this off my chest so I wouldn't blow up needlessly at someone today.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Held Without Charge

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4581383.stm

What's sad about these truths, despite the painful understanding we have of our country treating humans as people with absolutely no inalienable rights - something far far beyond our call as a nation - is the fact that if anyone else performed these violations, the press would force them out of office. Can you even imagine Clinton holding a prisoner without charge for even 24 hours? It takes no imagination to know that the press in our country is in collusion with the evil being perpetrated on the world in the name of the citizens of the United States of America.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Life Is Good

Woke up, shut off the alarm, let the radio blare, and fell asleep. Forget what was playing, but woke 20 minutes later to the words: "they say I'm lazy but it takes all my time . . . life is good to me so far" and the song ended. Then I woke up, jumped out of bed, dragged a comb across my head.

Spent 4 hours in the Texas sun today. 3 hours with the kinder olympics - no good quotes from them. Had a coupla kids break down & cry because they "lost". In reality no one lost - they all got ribbons; but they seem to inherently know the difference between a blue ribbon and a yellow ribbon. The last hour, as always, was an hour as coach for the kinders. Let them have a free day since they worked so hard all morning.

My meanderings were on the differences of California, where I have taught, and Texas, where I teach now. In California, at the elementary level, the classroom teacher was responsible for the children to receive PE. There's a lot of wisdom there - it's much easier to control 30 kids than 90. That illusion of control allowed children to hear a bit more, and thus learn the rules of the game quicker. Most of us taught the rules in the classroom, then we went out to play PE. The acoustics were the same as when I taught math concepts, or language concepts - the kids could hear, and it never took long to learn the rules.

In Texas we stick them all in a large, empty room, a bit larger than the size of a regulation basketball court. With painted cinder block walls, and a ceiling some 20 feet high, with lots and lots of echoes. It takes one kid moaning quietly to completely disrupt a lesson so 1/2 the kids never hear the instructions. General chaos usually happens, and we try to make the best of it by keeping the kids moving and generally having a good time. What they don't learn is teamwork or individual responsibility. It doesn't take long each day to teach these concepts to a 5 year old - but if they are to learn, it is imperative that they hear. A large gymnasium with a coaches voice bouncing back from 5 directions is not a good acoustical situation for hearing.

So why do it? Well, the teachers get a break called "work time" to prepare lessons. That's actually a cool idea - in theory the teachers get paid for preparing lessons. I will attest that I didn't get prep time in California, and spent at least two hours after school preparing the next days activities and grading papers. I never complained, because that was a given when I took the job.

Reality? Well, now I get paid about 30% of what I got in California. The local excuse is the cost of living is higher in California. That's a bald-faced lie, but they won't believe it. My taxes are 300% higher in Texas, food costs exactly the same, gas prices are 15% cheaper here for some reason; but gas is not an issue for me either here or in California. The phone costs are higher here, as are gas and electric. Housing costs are very similar - a tiny house sells here for $180,000. So, they are lying to themselves about the "cost of living" as an excuse for why they pay teachers 70% less. I don't care myself simply because I enjoy teaching, and the money is secondary - but I see teachers struggling financially here a lot more than I did in California. I choose to live simply, so finances are not a struggle for me wherever I am.

One thing is very true in Texas - almost all the teachers are female. I am the only male teacher in my school, and at the next level there are no male teachers. That's not as true in California. As a result, teachers are not unionized here - even worse, it is illegal for them to unionize. That's difficult for me to believe - that a state can make it illegal for a specialized group to form a union. I had heard stories about the south - now I'm living it. When you grow up somewhere else, you think it's all exaggeration. The other thing that's very subtle, but obvious when looking in with an outsiders view; the teachers are "only women", and therefore do not deserve a living wage. I went to a board meeting and noticed the Superintendent, the Assistant Superintendent, and the entire School board is male. Women are not going to receive a living wage in a state that won't allow them to unionize or be members of the school board. However, it's okay to educate women because then they can teach.

My own personal belief is that there are no teachers anywhere getting paid what they are worth, so the entire point is useless to discuss. A simple example is a home day care center funded by the state can have 12 children, and charges $6 an hour for them, with no other obligation than to give them a snack and a lunch - the state pays the day care center what the parent cannot pay. Most children are left there for 10 hours - the parent drops them off on the way to work and picks them up on the way back. That's $72 an hour, or $720 a day. A teacher nets around $2000 a month after taxes and insurance, or $500 a week. And that includes the obligation of teaching the kids how to read, manipulate numbers, and write. Not 12, but 20+ kids. It has always been this way, and I don't expect it will change soon; but it does show how the government systematically teaches falsehoods in order to keep the status quo moving in the direction they choose (ie, the cost of living is cheaper; women aren't worth as much as men, etc).

Meandered far astray, as usual; but despite my sadness at the way people have decided to treat to the ones they have chosen to teach their children, I can still feel good enough to sing along with Joe Walsh: Life Is Good To Me, and today I was able to spend 4 hours in the Texas sunshine. Maybe he even said Life's Been Good, but I've been singing Life Is Good all day because that's what I heard when I dragged my consciousness out of the dream state I was entranced in.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

A Day In The Life

I have my alarm set to play the radio. Cameblasting in today during the "noise" section of the Beatles & an orchestra performing A Day In The Life. Couldn't recognize it coming out of the dream state - was just blown away by all the noise. But I had to chuckle when the noise stopped momentarily, and the voice started chanting: "woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across myhead". Fun way to wake up.

Non-eventful day, which is always good.

At Bible study tonight we went through Genesis 22, the chapter that still continues to thrill me - the specific ways words are used proves to me that there is far more to a spiritual walk than is commonly taught in buildings with a public speaker known as a "preacher". Abraham goes to "worship" on his way to sacrifice his son. That alone tells me that worship is something other than singing songs in a public gathering. When I asked the question before the study tonight, I got various answers like singing, praising, etc. I've never been able t osee Abraham as praising God for this act. I can see him as obeying God;but my mental picture is similar to Christ in the garden praying three times: "take this cup from me". Yet, "not my will, but thine be done". My spiritual gut tells me this is true worship - in the spiritual sense; not in the culturally acceptable sense.

At the end of tonight's study I left with the tease: Who went down the mountain - according to the written word? It's easy to assume that Isaac went down with Abraham - heck, Abraham even promised the two witnesses that they would both return. Yet, verse 19 does not even mention Isaac. In my mind there's a reason for every given detail in the Bible, and there's a reason for every missing detail. Will be fun to see if anyone in the group comes up with the same conclusion I have- Isaac does not re-appear in the written record until the Holy Spirit (unnamed servant) arrives with the Bride!

Music I listened to mostly today was a mix set on my flash mp3 player of several artists including Iron & Wine. I'm liking the set more and more each time I hear it. First heard Iron & Wine on the Garden State movie soundtrack. I've been able to track down most of the official recordings, and am enjoying them very much when mixed in with other newer releases. Gets to be a bit much listening to the group by itself for 2 hours; but mixed in every 3rd or 4th song, it is truly a joyful experience. http://ironandwine.com

Monday, May 16, 2005

Welcoming myself

This is my first posting, so I welcome myself to the idea of dreaming my thoughts out loud and allowing others to openly criticize my meanderings in order to help me to look criticaly at myself and hopefully grow even more thoughtful and understanding of myself and others. As I think about my purpose I realize there is nothing I have to add to the human race except another opinion. That is a bit sad, but I hope to be able to analyze where I am and how I got here by being able to glance over my time here. I'm kinda thinking of it as a personal diary/guide/place to plunge into things that make me angry/sad/enthusiatic/gleeeful/or just plain silly.

I say a headline from a newspaper today that said writing blogs can cost you your job. That saddens me tremendously - especially in a country where we should not have any reason to fear self-expression.

I teach at a public school here in the USA - specifically working with special ed kids who are my life-blood - the ones who keep me alive.

My favorite quote this week is from one of my eight year old students who was running in the olympics and said "I was winning, and I would have won if everybody didn't try so hard to run faster than me." Started me thinking of the little ifs we all face in life.

Yesterday I spent my entire day thinking. Woulda been a good time to start a long-winded blog. A 6 year old student came up to me when I was sitting outside watching a few classes at recess. She asked me why I went to her aunties birthday party. I told her her auntie was one of my best friends, and her eyes got huge. I told her how much I respected her auntie, and I'm always happy to celebrate with people I love and respect. After I finished talking she looked at me for awhile, and I asked - is something the matter? She said, "but, you're white!" I laughed and said, "well, I'm sorry, honey, I just happened to be born that way - I hope it doesn't bother you."

I am bothered a lot by the fact that this student is so observant about little things like that. There were probably 120 people at that party (auntie turned 50, so it was a 'big one'), and it's true that my family and I were the only 'white' people there. In fact, we were teased because at one part during the party we hung out together as a family, and our dog was sitting near us. Our dog happens to be truly all white, and someone a few tables over who we all love made a silly comment thatw ere were the 'all white table'. We all took it for fun, and laughed.

But looking back at it through a six year old child's eyes - it really bothers me. What happened to the dream? The schools still teach it - nowadays even more than it was taught 20 years ago, and King died almost 20 years before that even - he definitely made the speech over 40 years ago. Yet, nothing has really changed. It's still a dream that we will judge each other by the content of our character and not the color of our skin. 40 years, and there are plenty of "words", but where is there a reality? I know I have made the mistake of not even seeing this reality - because I believe so much in the dream - until a six year old child points out to me just how blind I am to reality, and how much I am living in a dream world.