Sabinal Blue

Visiting The Thoughts Of Yet One More Person

Meanderings of an introverted dancer - a public school teacher with thoughts on music, politics, and life in the hills.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Where I've Been

Nowhere. Realizing I simply don't belong in this century. It's not like anyone would listen to a lone voice. Not sure they ever did.

Read a bunch of philosophy books - descartes, nietzsche, hume, kant & re-read socrates, aristotle, thoreau & dewey. realized i really have nothing to say. everything not worth saying has been said already. everything worth saying, well, there's not much of that. neitzche at least has a sense of humor.

my frustration is my country - can i call it my country anymore? there's so so much that is wrong, but two things happened this week - congress allowed both the torture of prisoners - making it law now, and the building of a 700 mile long wall to keep people out of our country. obviously not the country i grew up in. see - that just shows how blind i was growing up. of course we tortured people in the past, but it was illegal. of course we hated foriegners, but we allowed them in. in the past it was all hidden and underground. now it's blatant and out in the open. we are a nation of haters.

my frustration is my religion - how can a person accept the title of christian? for exactly the same reasons as my frustration with my country - christianity is a religion of hate. and, knowing the history - it's always been that way. i guess i figured that once i joined in that i'd find people who loved christ and his teachings as much as i do. ha! mercy and grace are not part of the christian vocabulary these days. probably never was.

i'm siding more and more and more with bukowski. give me a drunkard any day. they will talk openly and honestly and spill their guts. pun intended. everything has multiple meanings.

my frustration is my profession - not the everyday part of it, and not the kid part - but the government interference part. people who don't live in the trenches, most of whom have never been in the trenches, are making up regulations that do not work in the trenches. they pretend it's for the benefit of the children, but have no idea that all children are individuals. they are lumping all children into this mindless mass of nothings who all have to learn exactly the same thing exactly the same way. the good news, and the thing the government will never understand, is that not all children are going to buy into their expectations of all american teenage bodies willing to die for oil.

and the sad truth is the "pontificators" profit from their pontifications that lead to piss-poor policy.

in the 50's & 60's education was geared to make factory workers. well, since there are no more factories in the us we need soldiers to safeguard our factories overseas. so they want us to turn out mindless soldiers who know how to follow orders. that's the whole goal of the current educational trends.

i'm frustrated by the absolute truth that no one reading this will agree with anything i've said. everyone wants to believe their government is right - that it's important to build this 700 mile fence along a 2100 mile border. no one is going to stand up and admit that the true purpose of this fence is not to keep people out but to make some politician's family members and frends extremely rich by building this fence.

i'm frustrated by some of the cool things that happen that i can't talk about because of privacy reasons. a really really cool thing happened just after i last wrote, but i'm not alowed to talk about it because it happened during one of those state-mandated tests that are "top secret". the thing i wanted to talk about would "give away" an answer on the test. since i couldn't talk about that i shut myself down and haven't talked about anything.

just as well. if philosophers have nothing to say to people today, i'm sure i have nothing to say to people today. long live bukowski.